Writing is Rewriting and Editing -- But you knew that, right? N'est-ce pas? (Isn't that so?) It's my blog so I will write in French if I want. I do speak and write the language. What I don't understand is how I can edit an almost 2000-word chapter, and still feel, well, not finished. Could it have something to do with the fact that I only edited Chapter 1 out of 20 so far written of the newly titled manuscript? Or could it be that I can't simply pat myself on the back for a job well-done? So, in front of you'all, my invisible audience, I will formally take action to tell myself, Job well done, Dora. You did it. You edited The D.S. (Title under wraps. I'm not ready to reveal it yet.)

Okay, now that that rant and hug combined is out of the way, I want to reflect on this writing process. A revelation came out of my conversation with P today. Many revelations come out of our weekly meetings; I love that. This revelation is stunning because it ties together my writing fiction with my other work, which I'm not ready to talk about yet. Suffice it to say that I write for my own personal odyssey. I write, edit and rewrite to grow as a person, to see what it is I am saying to myself. Do others do that? I don't know.

I mean, if I really worked hard at it, I could write fiction to please the masses first and me second, but that's not how I do it. I suspect many writers don't either. But the thing of it is, I don't care about the marketplace. Not really. I really do care about writing great fiction. But if I looked to the marketplace for a measure of what that was, I'd just get confused, yes, have been confused. Don't want to remain confused. But if I look deep into myself and see my characters there, and bring them out on the page as vividly, detailed and gritty as possible, then maybe, just maybe, I will be in love with the story. And just maybe others later will too.

So that's why I combed through Chapter 1 for over an hour, only 14 manuscript pages, and I stand corrected, over 3000 words. Whew! Girl, you did a lot! I added over 700 words. Yes, counting and tracking are important to me. Because clearly I downplay all my hard work. I work hard at my play. My play, my catharsis, my entertainment, my dream with eyes wide open -- fiction. Where I grow, learn, validate, and hopefully become closer to myself. Hopefully I come home.